Saturday, August 1, 2009

Questions from the Gym

The Gym can foster learning, curiosity and humor. Here's been my experiences this week.
I learned you cannot get off the sit up bench --->
by simply laying down and sliding off after a tiring workout.
Unless of course, you want to look ridiculous and suffer some serious br
uises.

<---- (look close, and know I never bruise)


I also learned I need to roll my shorts at the hips (and not to try and show off my legs like you did back in gym class). I have to roll my shorts so the crotch can act as a buffer to prevent chaffing between my FAT THIGHS!

And though technically I've always known I have no waist, not in the "skinny" sense but rather the SHORT sense (it's the only part of me
I can call short), are the bottom of your ribs suppose to connect with the top of your hips? I can't even stick two fingers between the bottom of my ribs and top of my hips for a proper measurement of my waist length. Is that normal?And then I wondered, as my Star Trac Treadmill gave me my work out summary and ended with "GREAT WORKOUT!!!", does this machine ever actually give someone their summary and then say "That was CRAP you lazy pile of junk food eater, come back ASAP . . . YOU NEED IT FATSO!!!" That may actually be more encouraging than their typical "GREAT WORKOUT!!!" even if you only lasted 5 seconds on an incline.So my questions...
1. Can YOU fit two fingers between your ribs and hips to measure the gap (waist) between? 2. Has one of the machines ever attacked you?
3. If I invent a machine that tells us the truth about our workouts, would you buy it? Even if it called you fat or lazy?
4. Last, but not least. Should I buy these in order to prevent chaffing?
Seems like the crotch will land in the right spot, but I'd imagine my thighs will still rub together.
Let me know what you think!

10 comments:

Mom and Dad Bassett said...

You are two funny girl. Where did we get you from. No further comments.

Boo said...

I've got three fingers... well three and a half.

The Briggs Clan said...

I love you~ I can fit almost 5 fingers between! I guess your just a mutant! ;D.

Alison said...

I laughed so hard at the bruise.

I even called my Mom in to re-read that section of your post with me.

I need to come to the gym with you sometime. I won't even need a book or iPod for entertainment.

Liz Szilagyi said...

Really Al? I thought the chaffing and Malone shorts would be what buckled you over.

Kim and Cory said...

You are so funny!! Yes I can fit more than two fingers from my ribs to my waist.

Utah Youngs said...

just wear pants!! problem solved!

Chelle said...

I miss your face. :) And I can only fit about half of a finger between my ribs and hip bone. And no, it's not normal- I've conducted this study before!! Sad waistless life...

Haley said...

Liz you are hilarious!!!!!!! I totally think you would look hot in those shorts :)

Jen said...

I love the shorts. Please buy them or give them to me as a birthday present!

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