Friday, March 30, 2012

Back with a Bang

Please sit down for this story. Depending on your personality type, you might need a tissue to wipe away tears of laughter or a garbage can to catch your lunch. 

I put Reid down for his afternoon nap in a fresh diaper and a t-shirt. I kept his jeans off because I just don't think they are comfortable to sleep in. He wasn't wearing a onsie because all the clean ones are still sitting in a laundry bin, waiting to be folded and put away. He sleeps in this attire often and seems to do just fine. I had no second thoughts when I shut his door and crawled into my own bed, computer accompanying me, eager to enjoy some internet searches and my personal scripture study.

As usual, Reid was soon making some coos and some shouts for "ma!"  I chose to ignore his ruckus.  His morning nap was short lived, and I knew he'd eventually settle down and take a long snooze.  After about 30 minutes of noise I decided to peek in on him.  By peek, I mean check the video monitor we have that gazes into his crib.  I found him standing in one corner of his crib.  All I could see were his feet. Right outside the crib, I could see his two sleeping pals: a stuffed Elephant and a puppy head on a small blanket. I thought he'd gotten over the habit of kicking these beloved sleep companions out of his crib. It took a couple weeks, but he eventually learned I wouldn't come in to give them back to him. I should have known that was a strange sign, but I just put the monitor down and continued on my way.

A few minutes later he became quiet, so I peeked back in.  This time he was sitting down, great! one step closer to sleep . . . but wait, what is that in his . . .  how did he get a diaper in his crib?!?! By the end of this thought I had burst into his room. Sure enough, there was my darling, mostly naked, baby. Upon seeing me he stood up and proceeded to hand me a poopy diaper. I was mortified. The way he was holding it out to me, his fingers were right in the gold. A little speck was on his left cheek. The top of the crib sheet was -- well, you get the picture.

How did I not see this coming? He is 17 months old! Of course with the right amount of curiosity and persistence he would figure out how to take off his own diaper! Of course he knows when his body poops, and he is naturally curious about it. He tried to warn me.  He'd thrown his friends out to save them from his upcoming bowel movements; he'd cried out for his "ma" to come change him. But when left to his own devices, he decided to discover.

This is the way I have to look at it. His possible thought process is much less gruesome than the reality I was faced with. Like, how did that the speck on his face magically disappear between the time I grabbed him out of the crib and the time I laid him on his changing table (an act that takes about 1.7 seconds)? I'm sure you can imagine my many other frantic questions.

I wiped most of it up, and then hurried us both into the tub (because yes, we both needed to clean ourselves off with soap and water). I let him run around naked for a few minutes while I scoured his crib and changing table for any leftover traces. I sanitized surfaces I knew had been "exposed," and I quickly started a load of laundry, set at the highest "soil" level. Finally, I got him dressed properly and laid him down once again for a nap. He weeped pretty steadily when he realized his fun was over and a nap (without his bedtime buddies) was still in his future. But right now, I'm gazing into his monitor, and I'm peacefully reassured his bum is covered with a diaper, some jammie bottoms, and a blanket. I hope he is having sweet dreams.

Parenthood is a joy!  


Whitney Blake said...

Love the story. I am too waiting for this exact same moment to happen in my life. You handled it very well I will say. (:

tamikate said...

:-) gross.... but so so so funny. I think/hope every parent has a similar experience. I know I have!

Tiff said...

I'm just waiting for this to happen. That is why Quentin wears onsies. Do they even make them big enough for two-year-olds? I'm not sure what we'll do when he gets bigger.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...