Why does the universe always hate me on Ben's birthday?

Remember THE GUY WHO PUNCHED THE PRINTER? He gave me more grief today! But unfortunately for him my responses are quicker in the morning, and I was not as nice this time.

7:00 AM I go to the business center to print off some e-mails and make a few more copies for class. After my last run in with this guy I've tried to go do my printing in the morning so I bother less people with my large quantities. But just my luck he is there this morning, copying every page of a 40-page FREE magazine. It's a newspaper style magazine so keep in mind that each page requires two different copies and he is copying them all twice.

Anyway, I discover a big pile of trash someone else left behind. So I put the 50 or so left behind papers in the recycling bin and go back to printing my e-mails. Meanwhile I hear my buddy mumble something in my general direction. When I turn and ask, "what did you say Sir?" he doesn't respond. Thirty seconds later I hear him crumbling up papers. The Grouch was taking the papers I placed in the recycling out of the recycling and putting them in the trash!

"Excuse me Sir, I put those in the recycling bin on purpose. Could you please leave them there?"

He gripes "Does it really matter?"

"Yes, it does."

Then he throws me this one, "Too much political correctness is going to ruin this country."

"I don't see how helping the planet out is too politically correct." Dude, I deal with teenagers all day . . . THEY USE MORE LOGIC THAN YOU!!!

"Well, I think the EPA should be shut down." I decide not to respond to this comment. I recycled, what does that have to do with the government?!?!?

My silence softens him a little "I hope you don't work for the EPA . . . you don't do you?" I ignore his question and make my stance as waiting for the copier clear. His next attempt to sweeten me is to ask a question neither of us can ignore "Do you need to print something?"

"I need to make ten copies of this."

"You can go ahead," he offers to interrupt his unconscious fight against the EPA -- all that needless copying.

"Are you sure?" I've finally turned back into my polite self. I should of known he'd turn on me the moment I started using the copier.

"Environmentalists are destroying this country."

I try to maintain my politeness, I owe him after all, "I agree if you are talking about the environmentalists that are so extreme they become terrorists. But trying to help the Earth out is not hurting anyone."

"Back when I was in the army, if the commander asked for more troops you gave him more troops. You didn't spend three months on some study and then make your decision. All his political correctness is going to destroy our country. Aren't I right?"

I can't even make sense out of that last comment, did my comment on environmental terrorists lead us into this conversation about the war? I decide to go back to ignoring him.

But. . .

Then he has the audacity to say "That Bastard is going to destroy this country with all his political correctness. Don't you agree?"

"Well, when I was a kid I was taught America was such a great country because they never colonized another country. It's too bad our current Occupation proves my textbooks were wrong."

He finally shut-up. I took my copies and thanked him for letting me use the machine.

Then I almost got hit by some shmuck who thought I should yield to his left hand turn out of the Marriot. I honked to avoid the collision, but I really was convinced he was going to hit me. He responded to my honk by stopping and flipping me off. Sorry Sir, I forgot that when I'm on a busy main road I'm supposed to yield to the wealthy when they want to make a left hand turn out of drive way.

Where are the alarm clocks that pull these people out of bed before 8:00? I would like to smash them all in!