Sunday, April 27, 2014

Marriage Improvement

So, this weird thing happened. A few weeks ago I wrote a random post about some dating questions the youth at Church had. And 300 people read it. On average my posts get 13 to 14 views. Popular ones still only get about 30. Some recipes or ones I share on facebook reach into the 100s. But 300 for a post I did not promote on facebook or pinterest is crazy. Shocking. I have no idea why so many people read it, or who those people are, or how the found it. Serious mystery.

Anyway ... tonight was the official dating panel and now I feel obligated to follow up on it. The three couples on the panel were fabulous. I actually know all three of the women (two of them quiet well) and had met all but one of the husbands. The evening was filled with an abundance of laughter and plenty of valuable insights.

One of the final comments was the only question relating directly to marriage -- most others were about dating or engagement. The most seasoned couple on the panel was asked how they keep their marriage fresh after so many years. I loved her answer.

She mentioned a wedding card they received that said "always cherish one another." She mentioned that at the time it was a little over the top for her (she may have gestured to gag herself), but now after almost all their children have left the home she still tries to live by that advice.

I can't remember exactly what she said, but the part that resonated with me was "it is my job to always make him happier than anyone else does, to make him feel more loved than anyone else can make him feel loved, and to be kinder to him than is my job to be kind to him."

(I feel like there was one more adjective or verb identified between happy and loved, but I am drawing a blank on what it was). I loved this closing advice. I'm certain most of the kids there are years away from understanding the value of that advice, but I hope they remember it.

It was an excellent reminder for me. And between Reid and Nell (mostly Nell) I have a lot of work cut out for me. Those kids can make us feel pretty loved. They bring us more happiness than can ever be measured. But we cannot let them become our #1. I still need to be his #1 source of happiness, love, and kindness. That is my job. It is work; it doesn't always happen naturally, but it is my responsibility to make it happen.

I'm not sure anyone really understands how much work marriage takes. But the greatest work always involves making someone feel happy and loved. Work that promises joy requires kindness and service to others. Especially to the soul we've chosen to dedicate our lives to. The soul we look forward to sharing an eternity with.

I love the soul I chose.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like a smashingly successful event. Congrats. I absolutely love that photo -- makes me homesick for the farmhouse and those gorgeous sunsets!!! But... I don't miss that monster yard! Good night. Pa

Tiff said...

Great advice! I'll have to try and implement it more.

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