Sunday, November 15, 2015

Kid Funnies

I've been keeping some of the funny things my kids say tucked away in a post draft for a while now, but today Reid out did any funny thing they've ever said! So it is time to publish. Oh, the giggling tears we mothers shed in primary this afternoon!

Reid: I'm getting really angry at Nell!
Ben: Well buddy, do you choose how you feel?
Reid: Yes! And I'm choosing to feel angry at Nell.

Nell came into the kitchen dressed as Snow White, and Reid got all excited to enter her dramatic play.
Reid: Oh I'll be one of those der ... duff ... what are they?
Me: Dwarves?
Reid: Yeah, yeah. I'll be one of those guys. Which one should I be Nell? There's --
Nell: Grumpy!
Reid: Yeah, I'll be Grumpy. Okay Nell, you have to clean my house all day.

And while they played I heard the following. "Did you make my bed?" "Are you cooking my dinner?"  "Nell, you have to clean all day while I go to the mines, okay?" "Oh, I'll be Happy. Not Grumpy." "Clean Nell!"
We've watched Snowhite one time, one time! But one time was enough for him to catch on.

Nell's bedtime prayer:
"Thank you for Dad and Mom and Co-awine and Reid and Blades ... from the pretend Rescue Bots."
She was also thankful for our books and our house, that's how high up on the priority list her Rescue Bot friends are.

Nell: "Mommy, I need to tell you something. I'm hungry for frosting."
She said this in one of the most determined tones I've ever heard her mutter. She was dead serious. And hilarious!

The Monday after Halloween Nell was pushing her own cart at the grocery store when she suddenly decided she just couldn't walk anymore. We were done getting our items, but we were at the back of the store in the dairy department. I kept giving her, her options.

Me: "You can either push your cart to the checkout or you can get in my cart and I'll push you up there."
She was struggling to decide what to do, so I pressed her again.
Me: "Nell, do you want to push your cart or ride in mine?"
Nell:  "Mommy, I just want to go trick or treating again."

She said it in an exasperated little whine. It was too cute. Several older women had heard our conversation and one just chuckled and said "Don't we all!"

Reid: (to Ben) So if red, yellow, and green are the primary colors, what are the nursery colors? (a little LDS humor).

One night at bedtime, Ben told the kids they could each pick two books (instead of just one) and Reid excitedly whispered to himself "I never thought this would happen!"

And now, for today's big whooper. The primary leader was asking the kids for ways they can serve their mom, and Reid raised his hand to answer before he really had a chance to put a full thought together (as all five-year-olds do). As he started his rambling he kind of looked at me for guidance, and when he saw me wrestling to keep Coraline in my lap his brilliant act of service just hit him. He had no filter and no end in sight!

"Well, I help my mom. Uh - when she's holding Coraline. I can help my mom because sometimes Coraline just doesn't like the cover on her and so I can help my mom cover her boobies cause Coraline makes it hard for my mom to cover her boobies. So I can help her when she needs to make sure other people don't see her boobies. I help my mom when Coraline's naughty like that."

Seriously, we. were. dying. I'm so thankful there were only women in the room. It was one of those moments when we were all trying so hard not to let Reid know we were laughing at his sweet act of service. So they all just looked at me with the widest grins ... and eyes. We didn't really know when he'd stop, or how many times he'd work the word "boobies" into his answer. It was hysterical.

And I may use the word boobies a little too loosely in this house. Oops, better remedy that!

My little comedians at dinner earlier this week. One of them put spaghetti on their head by accident -- and of course the reaction she received encouraged the other two to follow suit. 


Pa said...

Love the funnies! Love the boobie story about my boobie!!

Claudia said...

Oh, these are too cute! Thanks for sharing. Tell Nell she can come trick or treating at my house any day! And Reid...oh my gosh that was hysterical!

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