A Week Without Dad

We were fatherless around here last week. Well, I wasn't. But the kids were. Ben was at a work training in Reno. He left Sunday at 4:30am and we were reunited Saturday at 5:00pm. That's right, just 12 hours shy of a full week.

We couldn't go to Church on Sunday because we were still contagious with hand-foot-mouth. We did spend several hours outside, which was nice. I noticed I felt a little more motivated and a little more ambitious around the house. By evening time I even had some pride riding around on my shoulders. I was pooped, but I didn't loose my patience or throw in the towel. I just sat on the couch and invited all three kids (and their duplo weapons) to join me for some reading time.

All FOUR kids hanging out on my lap/legs

This pride hung on for a couple of days, and I noticed I was actually a better parent and housekeeper without Ben around. This is definitely an "it's not you, it's me" situation. When I know Ben is going to be around to do part of the parenting and cleaning I get a little lazy. Maybe even a lot lazy. Knowing I was the only person fully capable of cleaning the kitchen meant I cleaned it twice every single day. Knowing I was the only person fully capable of meeting all of my kids needs helped me stay more mindful during our interactions.

Of course, this honeymoon stage wore off pretty quickly and I was grateful for the little breaks I got when I went to my 28 week check up (neighbor came to babysit) and the YMCA for a couple of workouts. I also looked forward to the evenings, when the kids would be in bed and I could decompress after a long day. Although, I did let them sleep with me the first two and final nights. Coraline slept withe me one night in the middle. So I really only had a bed (and therefore the evening) to myself half of the time. 

The thing the kids missed the most about Ben was definitely wrestle fighting and acting a little bit wild. I sensed it as the days drug on. I was having them burn off energy, but not in the same way they burn it off with Dad. I'm a firm believer that kids do best with both a male and female presence in their lives. It was apparent this last week as Ben was away.