Monday, November 14, 2011

Things aren't always as they seem

I was talking with a good friend the other day about my move to Oshkosh. I probably opened up more than she'd planned, but it's always nice to share your thoughts with someone you know has "been there."  We all have difficulties in making new friendships, but something about moving somewhere totally new is best understood by those who have done the same.

Anyway, I was thinking about our first Sunday in Oshkosh. I remember scouring the crowd for young moms like myself, curious about who my new friends would be. I will admit this meant I spent 75 minutes judging people almost entirely on their looks (or how they escorted their toddler out of the chapel).  But, I kept all those judgements positive.  After all, I needed new friends, and I wasn't about to rule anyone out.

Ironically, I ruled 90% of the congregation out. Did you notice I said I scoured the crowd for young moms like myself?  I didn't look for women in their 40s, and think "I bet they'll be my greatest friends a year from now." I didn't look at the elderly couples dotting the room, and think "I'd love to spend my spare time with them." I watched the women who looked my age, who had one or two small children.

I have no real analysis of this moment, other than acknowledging how foolish I was. 


Scott and Claudia said...

There does come a time in life when age and friendship seem to know no bounds. Thank goodness for that. Love ya oodles and oodles! Mom

Jodi said...

I did the exact same thing. I learned that lesson real quick as well. My ward is amazing, and it is the first time that I realized that Relief Society and sisterhood should have no barriers. I was amazed at how every sister loved, acknowledged, conversed and served one another no matter their age or circumstance. I realized that I had been dead wrong about who I first thought would be my true and most inspiring friends. I sometimes joke that I moved to Texas just to meet some of these wonderful women!

Riki Lee said...

I still do the same thing, even after living here for almost four years. My closest friend in my ward right now is nearing 40, and her youngest and my oldest are the same age. When I first saw her, I never thought we would ever really be friends. But I feel like I'm still looking to see who I can be friends with because it's nice to know someone in the same situation as yourself.

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