Finishing off the first week

 Looks like I'm on a one day, two day, three day pattern here. 

For Thursday, I'm grateful for the competence I've gained in my cooking. I made the kids homemade breadsticks and chicken noodle soup tonight, and it all was done in less than an hour and ran really smoothly. Nell helped and that was a lot of fun. I also had some good one on one time with Coraline today. I love little moments spent with each kid individually. 

For Friday, I'm grateful for date nights and tacos. Ben and I got to go out together after Lewis was asleep. It's so nice to have time together. The two little girls were kind of a mess once we got home and turned off screens, but Ben and I handled it together and just had a great evening. What a nice way to end a week of sick kids after sick kids.

Today, I'm grateful to finally have snow! The kids played together in it for a good 20 - 30 minutes and it's so fun to see Lewis joining the original four in their adventures and friendship. Snow has always been able to bring my kids together for a good time and special memory building. I love it!

Two Days

Well, I missed yesterday, but I'm not going for perfection here. So I'll just share that my intention was to write something marvelously spiritual about nature, and maybe specifically about Lake Michigan. I drove to the beach today, point beach state forest to be exact, and it was a grounding experience. I love the power nature has over me, to ground me to my reality. 

Today I am grateful for health. Each of the kids have had a little bout with an upset tummy, but it was so mild and quick and I feel like we escaped something that could have been much worse. Phew, I'll take a break where I can. 

Year of Gratitude

 I set a resolution to write down something I'm grateful for each night before I go to bed. Here's a good a place as any to jot those thoughts down. 

Tonight, I'm thankful for laundry piles. They cover the couch in the living room, and they are a sign that I accomplished a lot today. Lewis was sick last night, so that threw off my morning. I didn't get to the laundry until well after 2pm, but I still have five to six loads completed. I hesitate to write "it feels good to be productive" because I know my value is dependent upon productivity. What feels good is to have a home full of so many sweet little souls who need clean laundry as they head back to school after a long holiday break. It feels good to meet that simple need for my little loves. 

Family Budget System That Works (for us)

For me, learning how to navigate finances has been a 20 year process. My parents told me to build good credit and not to go in to debt for anything but a home, car, and education. I'm forever grateful they set me off on the right foot to do just that. They paid for my undergrad and built good credit for me by cosigning on a car loan they paid for monthly (so yes, I acknowledge I had a lot of financial privilege as a young adult). But when I look back, I realize my parents taught me the what about finances without really teaching me how. I didn't know how to budget.

Before any purchase, I always knew I had to have enough money to make the purchase and enough money to pay any bills that would come up before my next paycheck. This is a fine way to live paycheck to paycheck, but it is not budgeting. Sure, I was using free online budgeting tools to track my spending, but what I should have been doing was tracking my money to determine my spending. See the difference? I was living in a spend what you make and then figure out how it fits in your budget cycle instead of a track what you earn and budget how you are going to spend cycle. 

I wonder how many other young adults (and even grown adults) function this way? I'd imagine it's quite a lot. According to research most of us to spend just 5 to 10 percent more than we earn. So we aren't that far off on our budgets, but over time this habit leads to credit card debt -- which is exactly what my parents taught me to avoid. It's great advice, but without a how to map, it's hard advice to follow. 

With the help of some very basic financial tips from people like Dave Ramsey and Elizabeth Warren, and places like NPR's LifeKit podcast and You Need A Budget columns, I have honed a system over the last several years that really works well for my family. I found my how to map, and I thought I'd share it here in case any parts of my budgeting process would work well for others. 

START WITH A ZERO SUM BUDGET

One of the first big changes I made was to pay for an online budgeting tool. Three years ago I signed up for YNAB and I have absolutely no regrets. The free online budgeting tools I'd been using just weren't serving me well. If you need visual proof for how much YNAB helped turn our finances around, take a look at this:

Between home improvement projects, vehicle loans, and living that 5-10% above our monthly income, we'd accumulated almost $26,000 of debt. Yikes! The thing I love most about this image is that climb from 4/20 to 4/21. Between the pandemic and some marriage troubles, that was a really terrible year, but somehow we climbed our way out of debt. 

Let's quick talk about some bumps and flatlines you may notice on that graph. You can see the first five months were pretty steady. It's typical for people to take a few months to get a sense of what they are spending and what they can do to earn more and cut costs. I'm glad I didn't give up after not seeing much change for the first four months. 

You likely notice some big jumps at the beginning of each new year. Those are our tax returns. I prefer to receive our child tax credit on a monthly basis. If you do too, check out Senator Romney's Family Security Act, and if you support it too, call your legislators and tell them to sign on. 

The first dip (4/20) was the purchase of a new car. That set us back, but we had it paid off in just two years. That's something we never could have done in the past. The other dips (8/21 and 1/22) were my tuition payments. In addition to paying off a car in two years, I've been able to go back to school for a master's degree without taking out any student loans (yet). That's another thing I would have never thought was possible three years ago. So let's get down to the details of how all this was possible. 

THE 50/30/20 PLAN

Here's where I used a combination of Dave Ramsey and Elizabeth Warren (quite the pair, I know). I like Dave Ramsey's debt snowball idea and I've always been committed to paying 10% of my income to tithing. So those were two ideas I could follow with perfection. I did not buy wholesale into some of his other, more restrictive, ideas. That's where I adopted Elizabeth Warren's 60/20/20 approach. Warren suggests people use 60% of their income for necessary living expenses, 20% for paying down debt and/or saving to avoid debt and plan for retirement, and 20% for life's pleasures. A lot of other advice I'd read confirmed this idea. Savvy savers pay themselves 20% (for savings and investments) first. Other financial experts warn against depriving yourself of nonessential things like occasionally eating out or taking a vacation in order to pay off debt and save for retirement (the Ramsey approach). Too much restraint can lead to unrestrained splurges. 

For the first couple years I put 60% of all our income into our living expenses and tithing. I then put 20% right into tackling our debt, using the Ramsey snowball method. Finally, I did my best to keep 20% available for things like a YMCA membership (until I wised up and got a job there and had a free membership), family vacations, and other fun but not completely necessary things. Occasionally I did dip in to that 20% to cover an unexpected necessary expense (darn car repairs) or to increase debt payments and save on interest. 

I've made a few adjustments over the years and feel really confident that I am at the perfect place now. My first adjustment was to move our 10% for tithing out of the necessary bills category and into the savings category. It's a small change, but an important mental switch. So now we have a 50/30/20 plan.  Half of all our income goes right into the following eight categories: mortgage, groceries, vehicles (repairs, fuel, registration), utility bills (phone, electric, internet), home maintenance, medical bills, clothing, and personal care (toiletries, haircuts, etc). 

Categories like the mortgage and utilities always have a set amount and are fully spent by the end of each month. Other categories, like vehicles, home maintenance, and medical, may fluctuate to cover (and ideally save) for those unexpected expense. Other categories, like clothing, may have $100 set aside each month without spending any for several months until all my kids suddenly new need shoes. If our income goes up one month, I can put a little extra in categories that might need a bigger cushion. This is how we save up for emergency expenses and stay two to three months ahead of our bills. 

But we still try to build up savings elsewhere, which leads us right into the 30%. 

Like I said earlier, so far I've been able to pay for graduate school without taking out any student loans. It feels fabulous. I consider furthering my education an investment, so this expense goes right alongside saving for an emergency fund, investing, and charitable giving. Remember, this portion of our budget used to be 20% to snowball debt, but after about 15 months of doing that, we were debt free and able to switch it over to a savings and investment category (just like Elizabeth Warren recommended). My goal is that if we need a car loan in the future (I'm guessing we will, sorry Dave Ramsey) we'll put that expense into the vehicle category and we'll be able avoid ever using 20% of our income for debt payments. 

Finally, we put the last 20% in what YNAB calls "Quality of Life Goals." As much as I'd love to pay off my mortgage in my 40s, I prefer to take a family vacation once a year, let my kids take music and sports lessons, and have a decent Christmas. We don't live frivolously -- most our family vacations have been spent in state parks and we do not have the money for traveling sports teams or a dog (yes, our family pet really is a turtle).  

One of my favorite things about this system is that we can put some money each month into things like a vacation or gifts and build up a decent amount for a couple nights in Chicago or a memorable Christmas. I'm no longer suddenly approaching the holidays and wondering if I have enough for all the gifts I need to buy. I know exactly how much money I can spend and that is what determines the gifts I buy. 

Final Thoughts

I may come back in a few years and realize there is an even better system for our family. I personally recommend everyone do what I did, and just read as much as you can from different sources and find what works best for you. I have friends who love Dave Ramsey's approach and others who likely need to spend more than 50% of their income on necessary bills. Make the adjustments that work for you. 

I expect this to always work for us though. As I return to work in a few years and our income goes up, every category can go up. That means we can update our vehicles, take nicer vacations, save more for retirement and give more to charity. As long as I know we are living within our budget and have a couple months worth of savings built up in each category, we can handle small lifestyle creeps and unexpected expenses as our salaries increase. 

 

Photos of the last few weeks

I'm going through old photos, like 2018 photos, and I'm realizing there are so many pictures I take because I want to write something down about that moment. And well, now all those moments are more than 2 years old and I don't have any reason to keep the photos -- but I also hate to just delete them and forget those small moments that were so precious for a fleeting time.  

That made me realize I need to share some of the most recent small moment photos I've taken. Some are snapped because the kids want them remembered, like this one below of Nell. We had a week of exceptionally wonderful weather in November (I feel like we always have one nice week in November), so we made the best of it and invited multiple friends over to play -- outside, cause there is still a pandemic -- and during one of those playdates the kids traced themselves in sidewalk chalk and then drew their characters. I thought that was such a clever idea (it was our church friend, Zoe, who thought of it). Nell drew herself doing her flamingo pose on her scooter. Mara drew herself (probably withe help from Nell) as a mermaid, and Coraline was an explorer. This was just a portion of the fun we had with the Mueller family as they spent about three hours at our house (yes, outside the whole time) one afternoon.   

Our Church friends have been a big staple through all this COVID stuff. We've done a lot with the Porter's and the Martin's too, and during the years I didn't blog we had a super sweet bond with the Brady's. I'm kind of sad I don't ever capture these friendships or most our vacations on this blog. Maybe one day I'll catch up (but I also don't want every post to be me lamenting my desire to catch up, ha!)

Election day was beautiful, for many reasons, but I snapped this photo of the kids playing at our town hall because they so excitedly noticed it's a Green Bay Packers playground, ha! I tried to take a better photo, but my phone has no space on it (which is why I'm going through old pictures). I just love how Wisconsin they are. Also, I have a feeling the colors really were intentionally chosen. 

Halloween was a little different this year, but still declared the best ever. We trick or treated at just 5 houses and then went to our friend's the Morriss's to run around their backyard and be the wild kids they were all bound to be. They were dressed up, high on sugar, and enjoying a full moon, the recipe for a perfect Halloween, right?

Sometimes I spend more time than is normal trying to capture Mara's beautiful curls. I'm just convinced they won't grow back once I finally cut her hair, so I've got to remember them!

Our friends the Belnaps moved to Utah over the summer but they still managed to "BOO" us like they do every year. The kids were so excited to get a little Halloween care package in the mail. I love how these little joys can just make their evening. 

Of course there are lots of memories worth capturing that I don't ever get pictures of. Reid's been venturing over to the nature center a lot this fall, and on several occasions he'd run into other boys his age from school and stay and play for quite a while. I love that he's old enough to do that! 

Coraline and Mara have been having weekly playdates with my friend Teri's daughters. This can sometimes make Nell feel like she's getting the short end of the stick, so I made sure to invite one of her best friends over a couple weeks ago while the weather was still nice. Reid had a sleepover at Ben's after a long day hike in the state park. I'm grateful these sweet friendships can make these kids feel like their life is full and the world is still a wonderful place. The pandemic sure has made lots of things difficult -- having them all home for school is NOT my favorite thing -- but we are trying to make the best of it and learn the importance of family love along the way. 

Nell's 8th Birthday Interview (5 weeks later)

 How old are you? Eight

What makes you happy? Family

What is your favorite animal? Giant Panda, Red Panda, Flamingo, Sloth, and Armadillo

What is your favorite thing to eat? Salmon

What is your least favorite thing to eat? Broccoli

What is your favorite thing to do? Play with Coraline and Mara and Reidy

What is your favorite TV show? Carmen San Diego

What are you really good at? Playing Soccer and the Piano

What is your favorite Movie? Moana

What is your favorite color? Purple

What is your favorite song? You are My Sunshine and Kesha's Praying

Who is your best friend? Brooklyn, Addy and Aubryn, Georgia and Ellary

What do you and your mom do together? Play board games or read

What do you and your dad do together? Wrestle Fight

Where is your favorite place to go? Grandma Bassett's house, and Grandma Szilagyi's

What is your favorite book? Jasmine Toguchi series, Wings of Fire graphic novels, and Charlotte's Web

What do you want to be when you grow up? Nurse at Mercy Medical

A Beautiful Fall Week in a Nightmare Year

Yeah, we are going to stick with that title. I'm creating joy by finding beauty in everyday little moments. But I want to remember this was something I did while a nightmare settled in each day. 

The masks aren't the nightmare. They are just a hiccup. A historical reminder of life in 2020 (and hopefully not too much of 2021). Our 8th annual trip to Little Farmer was as delicious as ever (I'm talking about you, caramel apples), but the perfect farm playground was closed. Ben came with us this year, and that made up for any pining after the playground. 

Reid is boldly stepping into his role as care taker of little sisters. He loves having a new roommate, and without prompting cut her fingernails as part of their bedtime routine that evening. 

He also became obsessed with woolly bear caterpillars. He spent much of his school time researching them, even though that wasn't an assignment. 

Nell was busy one recess building a little fall store in our backyard. This girl loves to gather and display things. She doesn't play with them once her vision is complete, but she sure enjoys the process. 

After school was over Tuesday afternoon we tried to go to the zoo one final time. Turns out it is already closed for the season, so we just dipped our toes in Lake Winnebago one last time instead. 

It was lovely having the beach to ourselves. Sand on your feet is good for your soul. 

Sunshine on your belly button probably is too ;). 

For our lunch break on Thursday we went to red arrow park and conquered the army tanks. 

While the big kids were playing on rusty machinery, Mara had me all to herself over on the playground. When Nell and Coraline came to join us Mara grabbed my face and demanded "Don't talk to my siblings. It's just mommy and Mara time. I want you to myself." It struck me that, that is exactly what she should be getting this year -- lots of time with me to herself. So I happily gave in and pretended like the older kids weren't there. I'm not sure they even noticed. 

Back at home that afternoon, the kids took over our newly paved street. The entire stretch in front of our house is covered with their creations. I love how much fun they have when they peacefully work together as a gang of four. 

Friday night was by far our best moment. It was bedtime, but also a perfect 70 degrees at dusk. I called them outside and told them to enjoy some time in the tree swing. As the dark settled in they became a little anxious, but I forced them to stay out just a minute longer. Before the stars filled the sky they each found a little pumpkin light in the Halloween bins and they began to make magic. They created games and elaborate stories. They chased each other around the dark yard. They screamed and giggled as they jumped at each other in delight. We all laid in the grass and sought constellations in the night sky. None of us wanted the moment to end. And all day today they have asked to recreate it. I told them nights like that loose their magic if they are forced -- if they are often repeated. The magic in Friday night was organic. It was pure childhood happiness, the nightmares vanished in the wide space between us and Heaven. Or is it the other way around, did Heaven come down to us and take the nightmares away? 

I have no pictures of that evening, but I hope it's the memory I hold on to as this week becomes a distant memory. That moment with my children was the peace my soul has been longing for.

Grateful for Nell

Nell is so easy to love. She has such a good kind heart and a brain that is wise beyond her years. Like her mother, she sometimes lacks the ability to control her body language, ha! We are both working on that. Her talents are wide and continually expanding. 

I wasn't sure if she'd ever take to sports of any kind. But she has gotten fairly aggressive in soccer this year and has tried a lot harder to hustle. She's one of only three girls on a group team of some 14 kids. Her teachers praise her art and language skills. She loves to read and would stay up all night with a good book. She also thrives on personal space and has been spoiled with her own room at such a young age. 

I sure love her and the bright light she brings to our family.  

Tod the Toad

We had a pet this summer. It's kind of sad how excited this small little thing made our children. Especially Reid. To be honest, Mara was excited for a day, but immediately went back to pining for a dog. Poor girl. 

Reid was responsible for finding Tod food. He was such a faithful pet owner. I hope I never forget him tromp-sing around the yard, in his over-worn boots, head lamp shining on his forehead, in search of june bugs or other beetles. He was so proud of each capture. He was also in charge of changing out the poopy water and had a lesson or two to learn about that (don't dump it on the porch - yuck!). As much as pets aren't my favorite thing to manage (there is already so much to manage), this really was a good learning responsibility for Reid. 

But my favorite memory of this sweet pet, and the only reason I'm memorializing him now, is because Reid's little heart was just so in love with Tod. He'd sometimes wake up a little early, while the house was still quiet, and just sit on the edge of the couch, staring into Tod's cage. They'd chat a bit. Reid would share his real world and then imagine Tod was sharing his own adventures back. It was the sweetest thing. Then this afternoon Reid worked on a writing assignment for school. He was kind of confused because he was suppose to write a work of fiction based on a real life things. When I explained the story of a beautiful spider web that beheld the words "some pig"  he started to catch on. He quickly told me he no longer needed any help and I left the room.  

Oh my heart. When I came back he had written the longest writing assignment I have ever seen this boy complete. And, he was smart enough to write it out on the computer first and then copy it down on paper second (boy has some serious disgraphia going on and he inherited my terrible spelling skills -- not a great writers combo for a kid full of ideas).  So here it is, the true story of a boy, his wish, and a toad that filled his world with magic. 

Tod the toad

One day there was a magical toad and the toad's name

was Tod. He could grant one wish but the toad had to go

back into the wilderness so he could hibernate for the

winter. So the boy who caught the toad asked the toad if

he could be the boy's pet and the toad said yes. But the

boy could not hear the toad when he said I have to leave

in the fall. So when the toad had to leave the boy was very

sad. But the boy knew that he would see the toad again

and he did. The boy and the toad lived happily ever after.

Grateful for Terrell's Island

I remember one line from all the speeches at my High School graduation. Jeri Ann Finlinson, our class President, said: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."  That advice can be hard to take in our deepest griefs, but I'm constantly running it through the back of my head lately. 

One place that will always make me smile is Terrell's Island. I hope I never forget this special little favorite hike of Ben's. I loved to carve out time each week (usually Sunday afternoon) for our family to get out in nature and go for a walk. He would have gone to Terrell's Island every single time! Okay, maybe no one always or nevers, but it was definitely his first request and I rarely turned him down util about kid #3. That four mile loop hike out on Lake Butte de Morts just wasn't made for kids that have to be carried the bulk of the time. 

We did it several times with Reid and Nell, and then even tried it once on our bikes pulling kids behind on the tag along and the trailer. It was at the end of that full loop that we both looked at each other and knew we'd never do the full loop again. At least not for like 10 more years, ha!

Well, a couple Sunday's ago I packed up my, Reid, and Nell's bikes and the three of us had a lovely adventure together.  Then today, Ben and I did the full loop together without any kids. We had a much needed heart to heart where we discussed our future and all the changes it will bring. We recommitted certain promises to put each other's needs first (as much as possible) and talked about the shared (and potentially different) goals we have for our sweet children. It's strange to say this is what marriage looks like. But it is. In so many ways, our marriage has never been stronger. 

I'm so grateful for and will always cherish that special hike around such a breathtakingly beautiful place. Sometimes, after you've become familiar with a view or an area, you don't see all the beauty in it. That wasn't the case today. We saw half a dozen toads, groups of sandhill cranes, a gorgeous pheasant, two snakes, a zillion woolly bear caterpillars, a good size snapping turtle and we (okay, it was Ben) even rescued a painted turtle trying to cross the road. 

I loved the beauty and wonders of the desert as a child. And it was always my dream to see the world. To see other places and to fall in love with other cultures. Ben has given me that opportunity. He has helped make so many of my dreams come true. Today we had to set some new dreams for our little family, and I pray they come true as well. 

Reid's Finally a master Builder

This morning Reid came into my room to show me some Lego creations he had built. This boy has always loved legos. But he mostly relied on the sets. And of course, they always broke as time went on because he'd drop them or whatever. Anything he built on his own always started with a chunk of an old set. It felt like he couldn't just think of an idea and come up with it all from scratch. 

That frustrated him immensely at times. He would want to rebuild sets, but he has over 2,000 tiny pieces and it was not my favorite thing to sort, organize and then collect all the pieces for one set. I did tell him I would do this about two years ago. And getting those sets together has been really sloooooow moving, ha! 

During all the COVID stuff the kids fell back in love with Ninjago, because I'd just checked a Ninjago Xbox game out from the library.  And with all the extra time I had on my hands, I was able to sort out his two biggest Ninjago sets for him and he built them. 

When he realized I was going to struggle to keep putting together other sets he decided to start making some of his own, all from scratch with the organized pieces. And I have been so impressed and proud of him. It's a reminder that I know his brain is brilliant and I just need to be patient with him figuring things out when he's old enough (this applies to his reading abilities too). 

  

Those top photos are the creations he made today.  The bottom ones are a sweet truck he built early in the summer. It did break once when he dropped it, but then he just built it up even better and cooler. It has so many awesome details that are hard to see in the photos, but I did take a video of him explaining it once. I'll have to see if I can upload it. 

I sure love this guy. I don't think I can even say "little" guy anymore. He's such a sweet kid with a wonderful heart and a brilliant brain. It's been a dream to watch you grow up my sweet Reid.

Gratitude for Coraline

I have so much love for all my kiddos. Tonight I want to focus on Coraline. In a lot of ways she has been the hardest toddler and preschooler to raise. As with all things in life, it's often our biggest challenges that help us grow and that growth turns into joy and peace. I feel myself entering that stage with her right now. She has made so much emotional progress lately. Her communication skills have grown by bounds and that obviously helps. 

She has the wildest imagination I have ever seen. For years she has had an imaginary friend named Rosabell. Sometimes Rosabell is with us every day of the week and other times she seems to disappear for months on end. Recently, Rosabell died and killed her cat (it was mostly told in that order), but just a week or two ago Rosabell came back to life. It was adorable to see how happy that proclamation (made straight out of Coraline's mouth) made Coraline. She had such a sweet gleamer in her eye when Rosabell was full of life again. The cat is still dead though (bahahah).

One of Coraline's strengths has always been her ability to play by herself. As an often worn our mother of four, I have so appreciated my #3s ability to find a pile of toys and make herself content without demanding anything of me for long stretches of time. This is such a gift to me, and I think it is a gift to her as well. 

I struggled back and forth with school decisions regarding COVID. I could write a giant post on that itself! (Remember, I'm on the school board, anyway). The final decision was to keep Coraline home and to send Reid to school and to let Nell choose between the two options. Ben was always supportive of my swaying mind and helped guide many of my racing thoughts on the issue. He is such a good parenting companion and I am grateful for that too. 

I don't think I am giving Coraline the Education the Oakwood elementary teachers could give her (at least two of them ;) ), but I firmly believe that isn't what she needs right now anyway. She needs our home. She needs her play time. She needs lots of socialization with her best buddy (Mara). And she and I both need that sacred one on one time we are sharing as we do her school work together.

After the first day of school she jumped up and down with happiness. "I love my online school. I was worried I wouldn't like it, but I do! I do!" That was especially sweet because her drawing about her first day of school included a former classmate and her teachers out on a hike in the Nature Center. 

After our second day she jumped up and down with joy again and said "I love my school. I am so happy. I am not fighting with everybody anymore." I was so impressed with her ability to express all that so clearly. Later I did try to ask her why she gets so angry sometimes, and she told me she didn't know where the anger comes from. I just love this sweet little girl and I hope that together we can figure that out soon. 

I am so grateful for that freckled nose and cheekbones and the beaming smile she shares so frequently as of late. Her love is as fierce as her personality and I can't wait to watch her continue to bloom. 

Bike ride in the rain

*Let's call this a much needed flashback*

Ah, I remember this title. I'll always regret not writing down all the memories I wanted to cherish. Writing helps me remember and until I saw this title I had completely forgotten about our bike rid in the rain. This title was created 6/23/20. Sometimes I do that, write a title but never a post. Tonight I'm especially grateful for the opportunity to finish this story. This is a true tender mercy. One I desperately needed after such a rough day. 

This must have been shortly after Sheldon Nature center finally opened back up after all the COVID shut downs. The kids and I started biking to the nature center regularly. That first week it opened we went to both the zoo and Sheldon 3 times each in 5 days or something like that. We were obviously stir crazy! I remember the joy and disbelief they had when I told them we could go to the zoo. But this story is about the storm. 

I biked with Coraline and Mara in the bike trailer behind me. Reid was our lead, and Nell took up the middle. I knew a storm was coming that afternoon and told them we'd better get going if we really wanted to go to the Nature Center.  As usual, the kids took their time playing in the creek and giant tepee. We watched the clouds roll in but thought we'd have enough time for a quick stop at the pond. I wanted to take a picture of that sky so badly, but my phone died when I pulled up the camera. I asked the kids if they wanted to wait out what I figured would be a quick down pour in the pavilion shelter. Or, we could try to beat it home and maybe get rained on. I can't remember the final vote, but the majority wanted to get rained on. Or perhaps they just wanted to get home as soon as possible -- there motives were their own, but I let majority rule. 

The drizzle started when we hit the main road, but a 5 second burst of heavier rain wasn't far behind.  It was so hard and so heavy I could not look up. I kept my eye on Nell and Reid's wheels and told them to just look down and watch the white line. They were giggly and frightened, and thankfully a moderate trickle quickly took over.  I kept my spirits high as it reminded me of so many Kuching bike rides with Sister Weldon. Those storms were so hard to get through, but they always boosted my spirit. And I hoped my kids would have the same experience. 

Perhaps my favorite part was when we came near our street corner. The drizzle was picking up again but  we were able to ride safely. Then suddenly our sweet neighbor friend Livi popped out from her front yard bushes (that provide some shelter from rain) and cheered the kids on, kind of chasing them and flapping her arms. "Get home, get home. It's going to be crazy!" She was such a sweet surprise cheerleader for those few seconds as we passed her yard.

And boy was she right. As we raced down Tammy road the rain started to flood us. Reid sped off ahead, and I knew he was safe. I pulled up next to Nell and offered to be her safe voice, guiding her as she had little sight. Once we were all safe in the garage, all the kids burst into giggles and showered me with the biggest smiles. The love and excitement was palatable. And their clothes were dripping as if they'd been in a pool!

This summer has been such a gift. I am oh so very sad to see it come to a close. But hopefully I can capture at least a few of these special memories and help my children remember how loved they were. How peaceful and beautiful our home was. I pray so fiercely that they will always find joy during the storm, and safe shelter and love after it's over. 

8 Weeks

It's been 8 weeks. 8 weeks of at home learning. 8 weeks since I last worked at the YMCA. 8 weeks of Ben (mostly) working from home in the office. 8 weeks of minimal shopping. 8 weeks of waiting for and wondering how this pandemic will end.

We missed out Easter trip out to Utah to spend time with my family. We missed Reid's school concert; he and his best bud Ben were even assigned a rare speaking part -- they were going to introduce the 3rd grades final song, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. We missed our 6 month dental cleaning. Nell didn't even begin to plan the first grade's traditional mother's day program. Coraline won't have an end of year 4K celebration. The kid's spring piano recital was cancelled. It's likely they'll miss the first Oshkosh Youth Soccer Club season I ever signed them up for. Oh, and their summer school classes. It's the first time I signed them up for those too -- and they were awesome (Art Under the Sea, Game Club, International Cooking, Survivor). Our summer camping trip was refundable, thank goodness. And we lost out on a $3,000 house booking when they cancelled EAA.

These 8 weeks have no end in sight. So we wait. We wait and see how this little moment in history will be told.

The kids are actually pretty excited about living through a big moment in history. Mara loves having her siblings all to herself all day every day. Reid loves being a home body. And even super social Nell fought back against a class zoom meeting last week because, "she just wanted to spend time with her family!" Even though that's all she's been doing. For 8 weeks!

8 weeks of sister sleep overs.

8 weeks of outdoor adventures.

8 weeks of imaginative play.

8 weeks of toys. Everywhere

8 weeks of giggles and love.

8 weeks of hugs and kisses.

These past 8 weeks haven't been so bad after all. Sure, we have missed out on wonderful things, but that just gives us time and room to create different kinds of special memories. 

February 2020

February 2020 started with a great weekend. I took just Nell to Reid's basketball game. The week before I'd taken just Coraline. It was kind of nice to have just one kid there with me to cheer on big brother. She came dressed as a vet, ready to play with her friend Ellen B.

Afterward, I had to run some errands at Target and I told Ben "I don't want to take any of the girls with me, because they always beg for toys." And yeah, that's a picture of Reid sobbing because I won't let him use his own money to buy that (overpriced) minecraft panda. Before this I had taken him to the Oshkosh outlet to pick out a few new shirts that were on a great clearance sale. Really, we had a wonderful time together ... but leaving Target was rough. Just as bad as if I'd taken a 3 year old instead. Sigh. 

Our dishwasher broke back in September or October and we never bothered to replace it. It was just a really nice drying rack for months. Until our microwave broke. When that broke, I had to replace it. So we went ahead and bought both appliances. Ben and his friend Aaron were installing them that afternoon so I took the kids out to celebrate our library reading program.

First, we headed to the library to get our final prizes (new books), and then we celebrated with our free kid's buffets at Pizza Ranch. Going to a restaurant is such a special treat for these kiddos. They were pretty excited about it all.

Sunday's weather was beautiful, and they were super excited about that too. 

Like a bunch of puppies out the window on our ride home from church. 

Coraline seems to love my job at the Y the most. It is the perfect place for kids her age. There's never a shortage of 4-5 year olds to play with. Two of her buddies from 4K are even pretty regular there. 

Mara Joy was pretty proud of her make up this particular morning. It is pretty miraculous to get her to pose for a picture, so you know she really wanted to show this off! But less than 2 hours later the poor girl was puking! 

And it turns out that getting knocked down by a stomach bug (or was it another ear infection?) also leads to some nice holding still poses. I do remember that I had to work that afternoon, so poor Ben came home early to take care of the kids. There were a few days like that at the beginning of February. 

The kids also started swim lessons in February. Out of the four lessons they had, all four kids only attended one of them! Reid's the kid who hasn't missed a class, but it's the girls that actually need to learn how to swim. Ha! 

Reid had his parent teacher conference this month, and this picture right here sums up everything I love about his 3rd grade year. 

I love that he is finally reading chapter books all on his own. I love that he takes so much pride and ownership in his classroom. I love that several of his best friends (Ben in particular) are in his class. And I love that he made a concerted effort to include another child because "maybe if he had a friend in class he would behave a little better." Ol' Riedo just warms my heart. He had kind of a rough day today, and to cheer him up I read him some old blog posts about him from back in 2017. It was sweet to lay with him and reminisce in the early evening hours. I sure love that boy.  

You can see that he won in the end. He eventually went back to Target to buy his beloved Panda. Stuffed animals have always been a favorite toy for my kids. And this particular morning I saw that quite clearly. Reid and Nell had already hopped on the bus to school when I noticed how nicely he stacked his (current) three favorite (and most new) stuffed animals on the rocking chair. Then I saw Coraline's giant rainbow sloth tucked up on the couch right across from them.

Silly kids.

That same afternoon Mara and I headed to Festival for some groceries and she had to take out each Paw Patrol stuffy and give them each a kiss "(bye (name)" included) before we left.

Coraline also had her parent teacher conference. You can sure tell her teacher loves her and her sweet presence in their special inclusion class. Also, "does she tell you she is going to marry River?" Oh, that girl is so boy crazy! (But also, she has exceptional taste for a preschooler).

Reid was pretty stoked his paper airplane was a winner during his class science lesson. 

Okay, this little story is one of my absolute most favorites. We had a babysitter two weekends in a row. One must have been for the Education Foundation Trivia night, the other was for a funeral. The kids love our babystiter, Mia. On the second round she brought a bag of Cheetos and that inspired Nell's little story. I don't know why, but I thought it was hilarious! "Once upon a time there was a Cheeto named Addy. (her best friend) She was so kind and she was smart. She was so pretty every boy fell in love with her. She was married too. She had 2 kids, twins." And then the twin cheetos are Nell and Bella (our old neighbor who does after school care with Addy). Oh my gosh, I just giggled and giggled over this. What a thoughtful story! Nell couldn't quite figure out why a cheeto story was so funny to me. I tried to explain that the twin cheetos just made me happy (and so I laughed) and she responded "It's a romance story that's appropriate for kids. What? No one really writes those kind of stories."  That of course just made me laugh out loud even more. Girl seriously made my month with this little cheeto book.  

I took her and Coraline in for haircuts after school one Friday. When I first mentioned it they both panicked, they didn't want their hair CUT. I assured them it would just be a trim to help make their hair healthier ... well, by the time we went in they were both insisting on bobs. 

I loved that in a room full of toys, they chose all the imaginext dinosaurs, and by they I really just mean Coraline. Mara kept trying to get her to play with the disney figures, but Coraline eventually won the battle and they both played dinosaurs. Reid would have actually loved these. 

The whole family went to Reid's final basketball game.

Afterword we drove up to Kaukauna to see the Eagles at 1000 Island Nature Preserve. We only saw a couple eagles, and the real highlight was all the taxidermy inside the building. 

Our little wildcat was excited about all the wildcats!

"Send this one to Mrs Martin, cause we are Oakwood Eagles!"

After we came home from that fun family outing, Reid and Nell joined up with some neighbors to go play on the huge snow mountain at the school. And that was the beginning of Nell's very bad, horrible terrible, no good week. The kids started a snowball fight and she got whacked pretty good with an ice ball. Then she fell and bit her lip. I wasn't actually there for any of this, so the neighbor brought her home screaming and hollering with a bloody lip. I was mostly annoyed because I thought she was way over reacting.

Near bedtime Ben took Reid to see Labrynth at the old downtown theater (they run old shows and donate the money to charity). So the girls and I were going to settle in for a movie, and that's when Nell fell down the stairs. I did feel real bad for her then, because I heard a lot of thumps! Her back seemed to take the biggest hit because that's what she kept holding and asking about.

The next day at Church she asked me to check her scalp for a bruise. I couldn't see anything, but noticed she was sensitive about that spot on the backside of her head.

Another neighbor invited a whole crew to go sledding at the park after church, so I took all the kids (during Ben's Sunday nap) and headed to the park. It was such a blast. Seriously, the best weekend weather, so perfect for lots of snow fun. 

That night Nell started complaining a bit more about her head. I realized it might be a concussion, so I decided to go sleep with her for the night. She woke up totally refreshed and ready for the day! She didn't complain again at all until Monday night, just before bed. I just figured she was tired from a full day of school and her first night at Judo with Ben and Reid. But then at about Midnight I woke to her standing by my bed, complaining that she was shivering (while wrapped in a blanket). I decided to go sleep with her again and that night she was super restless. 

To cut to the chase, she was diagnosed with both a concussion AND influenza b. Poor girl. I'd kept her home Tuesday, sent her to school for a half day Wednesday, sent her full day Thursday, and then kept her home all day Friday (when she was officially diagnosed). The appointment was really just for the concussion (and really only cause the school was pushing it). When the nurse suggested we test for the flu I was like "she only had a fever one night and it was never high. Also, she doesn't really have a cough," at which point Nell would always cough! 

She did recover in just one day and was up running around all day today. But man, I was feeling pretty negligent and I know she was super frustrated about all this.